Bonk Hard Chill 2012

As you may know, Robin has been on a doctor mandated 6 weeks off due to a broken tailbone, this past weekend was the end of the 5th week. Because of this, Chuck had to get a new partner, which would be me, who wishes to stay anonymous, so to protect the innocent, I will be known as Lula for this post.

So this is how the adventure starts, I meet Chuck at the same park and ride lot that he always meets Robin at. As I load my gear, he says, where are your bike shoes, and I of course answer, why they are in my van back at home 45 miles in the wrong direction. No worries though, check-in is at a bike shop and I need new mountain bike shoes anyway, I will just buy a pair. As we head onto the highway, Chuck says “you have your paddle, right” and I say, why no, it’s back at home with my bike shoes. Now Lula never forgets anything, but today she has forgotten two important items. It’s just a good thing that the paddle is optional, if you don’t have one, you can use one of the crappy canoe company ones, so that is what I would have to do. So I sat there for a while and mentally ran through my gear, luckily I had not forgotten any other gear.

So we make it to the Ozark MO, and to the OZ bike shop to check in. When we go into the store we find out that they had been robbed just a few days earlier and they only had two pair of size 10 men’s bike shoes. Time to go to plan B, I bought a pair of used platform pedals for 5 bucks and Chuck and I tried to put them on, but were unsuccessful because my current pedals were on too tight. We took the bike into the shop where the mechanic finally was able to loosen the pedals up and get them swapped. That was a load off my mind. So we got checked in and then drooled over the rack of Swiftwick socks, they must not have been out when the robbers were there, because it was one of the few things left in the store.

After some dinner, it was time for the pre-race meeting. Gary the race director was throwing out prizes into the crowd of racers, when all of the sudden a water bottle was flying right towards me, just as it was about to drop in my lap a guy across the aisle from me jumps over and grabs it. Man, it was just a water bottle, but I think someone saw what happened, and just after that I caught a flying rubber chicken. Well the rubber chicken is the best thing you can catch because you get to trade it for a really nice prize, so I got a Kuat water bottle lock, a very cool prize. Next the maps were handed out and we found out that we had to plot 29 points, that’s a lot of points. We also were told that we had a bike drop, but needed to keep our helmets with us. Chuck and I took that to mean, we would be caving, and guess what for once we were right, I mean Chuck was right, this was my first time racing with Chuck, so I never guessed about this stuff before. You will hear more about that later.

So bright and early Saturday, we dropped our bikes at the bike drop and headed for the start, where we parked in a muddy field, we were pretty sure we would be pushing the adventure van out of the mud at the end of the race. I was just hoping I would have enough energy to do that, otherwise, we were sleeping in the van. We grabbed our gear and headed to the starting line, stopping first at the Johnny on the Spot, while standing in line, Chuck says “oh, I have to run back to the van” and he takes off, when he gets back, I ask, “hey what did you forget” he says “nothing important, just the map”. I could just see us at the start, the gun goes off and we are standing there looking at each other, not knowing where to go.

The first few legs were trekking, they were pretty long, but the orienteering was simple, I think Gary planned it that way just to spread the teams out. The terrain was beautiful, there were so many places where we were trekking though giant rock formations, it’s too bad we couldn’t take our time and look around more.

We had no problem finding any of the checkpoints, as we headed to the first canoe CP, we came upon Team Orange Lederhosen, we passed them just before the water and from there on, I think it became a race between ROCK Racing and Orange Lederhosen. We went back and forth all day long, discussing the finer points of life, like how thick bacon should be, what kind of priorities a girl should have if she wants to have an adventure racing boyfriend, oh and if farting during a race will draw or disgust potential girlfriends. It was all very important stuff.

As I tried to get my wet hands into my canoe gloves, it wasn’t going well, Chuck just watched me, wondering just how many teams would pass us before I finally got those gloves on. Of Course Orange Lederhosen passed us, and Chuck finally took charge and pulled my gloves over my hands for me. So into the water we went and we stayed dry, but that didn’t last for long, at least not for me, every paddle stroke Chuck splashed me with water, I had to put up my hood, just to keep my head dry. It’s a good thing there was a rescue boot in the area, because we had so much water in our canoe, I thought we might sink.

We paddled our way to the next CP where we found out that we would be doing some caving, it was in the Bridal Cave, the name right there scared us, there was no way Lula would be marrying anyone in that cave. So with our helmets and head lamps on, we headed into the cave. It was about a quarter mile back in some really small areas and as we went, my headlamp kept getting dimmer and dimmer, I knew I should have changed those batteries. I was navigating with the light of Chuck in front of me and another team behind me. It’s a good thing I am short or I might have smacked my head on one of those stalactite rocks, like Chuck did, good thing he had a Hardnutz helmet on to save his head.

We made it back out of the cave, grabbed a honey stinger and ate it on the run back to the canoe. We then headed to CP 10, which was back near where we originally put the canoe in, as we rolled up to the floating dock, Chuck could see an orange jeep in the parking lot, he just knew it had to belong to Orange Lederhosen. Emma, who is either, the girlfriend, wife or groupie of one of the Orange Lederhosen guys was there taking photos, so Chuck yells is that your jeep. Chuck can’t help himself when it comes to Jeeps, he is one of those Jeep guys. It didn’t belong to Orange Lederhosen, but to another volunteer who was on the dock, so Chuck yells, “man that’s a nice jeep”. About 30 minutes later we made it to the canoe take-out and had to carry the canoe over a wall and up a hill, I think that was the hardest part of the entire race, but what made it worse was after huffing and puffing and almost killing ourselves to carry it up to the parking lot, one guy sitting in the parking lot, walks over, picks up the canoe, puts it over his head and carries it to the trailer and throws it on top, show off.

We head out to CP12 when we get to it, there is a note that says it’s at the top of the stairs, they were stairs that climbed up the side of a long rock face, there were 316 steps with some long walkways to get to the top. It’s a good thing I was Chuck’s teammate and not Robin, this would have killed her tailbone.

Soon we were at the bike drop, I was ready to go in no time since I had platform pedals and didn’t have to change shoes, Chuck was taking a little longer to get his shoes on, so while I waited, I ate a turkey sandwich, I was so hungry, it was like having king crab legs. We took off down the road, which was a good choice, we cut off the road and crossed a field, where we ran straight into the CP. Next we had to ride through some tough mushy terrain and then bike whack to the CP, we were passing teams that took another direction to get to the first bike point and of course we ran smack into Orange Lederhosen again, we just couldn’t shake them all day. Once we got back out onto the gravel roads Chuck stops right in front of us and jumps off his bike yelling something that we couldn’t make out, then he grabs a hubcap laying on the ground and says, this is the hubcap like the one missing on my van. Orange Lederhosen said they had duct tape and could tape it to his pack, but he declined saying we would drive back and get it after the race. So he throws it in the field and Derrick says “hey put it against the tree where you can see it” and Chuck says “no way, someone else might get it”. I’m pretty sure no one was going to drive by and take that hub cap. Then as we rode further I saw a Red Solo cup, oh and I bet you can guess what happened, that stupid Red Solo cup song was now stuck in my head.

We continued through the bike CP’s riding gravel and hills, it was almost all hills, We ran into a few dogs, they didn’t really chase us, just barked and ran in front of us mostly, except for the three dogs laying on the chewed up truck seat that was sitting in the front yard of what I would have thought was a condemned trailer, but someone was actually living there, it was just east of GOA WAY rd. The dogs barked, but I’m guessing they had chased enough adventure races that by the time we got there, they were too tired to chase us.

We also came across a few horses and one in particular did not like bikes or maybe he just didn’t like me and Chuck, but he was just jumping around making all kinds of noise, I’m glad he was in a fence, all the other animals we passed weren’t. By the time we hit CP29, both Chuck and I were ready to have our butts off those bike seats. We had figured that we would be given another O section and then a bike to the finish, but once again, wrong. The O section led us to the finish on foot. I have never been so glad to hear that I didn’t have to get back on the bike.

We quickly plotted the points and chatted for a minute with Orange Lederhosen, they had missed one CP on the bike, I guess they were riding too fast to see it. We headed out to the next O section and found ourselves trekking across some burned terrain, it was very rocky and black from fire, and it reminded me of the terrain that the tributes were competing in, in the book Catching Fire. If you haven’t read the Hunger Games series you should, so much of it will remind you of adventure racing. I’m glad I had on Swiftwick socks, if I hadn’t my socks would have been full of rock dust, but with these socks when I take them off my feet are as clean as when I put them on.

We picked up the first CP without a problem and headed to the next, it was a reentrant and there were about six teams all looking in the same place, it took about 10 minutes to find it, but we did. This was the only CP we had any problems with at all. It was starting to get dark as we headed to the next CP, so we pulled out our headlamps and I changed my batteries, since they had just about died while we were in the cave.

Another team was near us and we were all watching the time and contemplating if we could pick up both CP 34 and 36, and still make it to the finish line in time. Even with my newly bright headlamp I was having a hard time seeing, that usually happens when I get really tired. I had really been conscious of eating all day, I usually forget to do that enough and then end up bonking, but that wasn’t the case in this race, in fact, I had eaten two turkey sandwiches, HS waffle, HS Rocket Chocolate, Kind bar, two peach cups, and two V8 fruit juices. I probably ate more calories than I burned, but still I was body tired, but at least not bonking. We chose to go after CP 34 and then head in, the CP was out on a spur and we had to climb over a very large downed tree that was completely rotted out in the middle. After getting the CP and heading to the finish, I tried to get over the tree, but ended up just rolling over it on my belly. Chuck looked back, I can’t imagine what he was thinking, but he said, “what are you doing” I said “trying to get over this tree and I’m stuck” instead of pulling me over, he just says, “don’t fall into the rotted middle of that, you don’t know what could be living in there”. Shoot, here I am in the dark, I’m dog tired, stuck on a tree and he has to tell me something may be living right under me. Well, I did roll off that tree pretty fast after he said that. As we made our way down a jeep road headed for the finish a team came up behind us and Chuck asked them if they thought there was still BBQ left at the finish line. They said “We hope so, that’s why we are trying to pass you, we want to get to the food before you do”

The team passed us and finished and we were just a few yards behind them, then we turned in our passport and had our photos taken, we had finished! Oh and the food, Chuck and I both had some BBQ, but it was the bottom of the bucket and Orange Lederhosen got the rest, we barely made it in time for the food and it was totally worth it. Emma was looking for Orange Lederhosen and asked if we saw where they went, we said nope, they just got their food and were gone. Emma says “You give them whiskey and they just disappear”, we are still laughing about that.

We look pretty spiffy in our new Team Cyclery jerseys, I mean I (Lula), look pretty spiffy wearing Robin’s new Team Cyclery jersey. I know, I look incredibly like Robin, we might be related somehow. And we didn’t go get the hubcap, because Chuck is trading in his adventure van for an Adventure Jeep. Which is a whole ‘nother story……

The Bonk Hard Chill 2010

By: Robin Rongey

The 2010 Bonk Hard Chill started out with a bang that came right from the weatherman, rain was forecast for all day on race day. With this in mind we packed our rain gear just in case.

My teammate Chuck and I entered the race thinking it was going to be held on February 6th, but found out a month before the race that there was an issue of scheduling with the Lake of the Ozarks State Park, so the race would be moved to March 13th. We were happy that meant the likelihood of it being 17 degrees outside was somewhat slim.

So Friday, I’m out the door and leaving to meet Chuck at the commuter lot in Missouri, 10 minutes from my house I realize I didn’t pack my bike jersey. I had to have a bike jersey because it gives me extra pockets to carry food and chapstick in. I turn around and drive home to get it, calling Chuck to tell him I’m running late. Oh but here is the funny part. I tell him I’m running late and will be on the rode in 15 minutes which means I will be about 15 minutes later then planned, making it 2:15 instead of 2:00, but instead I say so I will be there at 4:15, where that came from I don’t know. So I get to the lot and no Chuck, I call him and he says "you said 4:15 which I thought was strange because you said you were leaving in 15 minutes, which wouldn’t be 4:15 since it’s only a 40 minute drive." So this is how our adventure starts. Chuck loads up and comes to meet me; we get all his gear in my van and are on the road by 3 pm.

We make it to Osage Beach and find the church that race check-in is being held at, unload all our gear and when we get to the door we see a sign stating no gear check at check-in, so we unload the gear into the van and head in the church to check-in. It was pretty easy fill out a couple forms saying we won’t sue if we get hurt and who should pick up our bodies if needed. Then they gave us a great Bonk Hard Chill hoodie and we were on our way to find the hotel. When we got to the hotel we knew instantly that we were at the right place, since just about every vehicle in the parking lot had a bike rack on it. The clerk in the hotel was pretty nice and told some elderly people that we were bikers, but the kind that pedaled and if they got lost we could probably help them get back on track. He had a lot of faith in us. We threw our stuff in the rooms and headed across the street for some pizza, then went back to the church for the pre-race meeting. We talked to many teams one being team Alpine Shop, and got everyone’s thoughts on how tough or long the course was going to be. The meeting started and we found out some information about the course, but for anyone who has adventured raced, you know nothing really until you are out there on the course. We were given maps and directions to the bike drop and race headquarters. We made the 30 minute drive to the bike drop, then went back to the hotel and plotted our maps. Finally we made it to bed by 11:00 pm.

Race morning we planned to leave at 5:15 am, but when I got up and was doing one last gear check I couldn’t find my head lamp, at 5 am I’m banging on Chucks door telling him I have a problem and we need to leave now to hit the Wal-Mart that we hoped was open to buy a headlamp. Chuck scrambles to get his stuff while I run back to my room for mine, I decide to do one last check in my pack and I find my headlamp hidden under some trail mix bars, what a relief that was. I run out to the hall and Chuck is closing his door, since we were both ready, we just left for the race, it was a good thing too, it took a little longer then we thought to get to race headquarters. I was having a hard time getting any food down, so I was working hard trying to eat something. I think Chuck was getting his food down ok, he was eating a turkey sandwich while I was trying to eat some little white donuts, breakfast of champions you know. We get our gear out of the van and head to headquarters, but are told to go down the road and wait at the gate, so we did. Buses were coming to haul us to the start, they were 30 minutes late so we stood in the rain, worrying that we forgot something. All the racers were taking turns hiding behind trees doing their business, you know in the adventure racing world the woods are a porta john. The buses arrived and we all got on and warmed up, it was about a 30 minute ride to the start and on the way we saw the first checkpoint off the side of the road. We thought the first CP would be a piece of cake, never assume anything in adventure racing.

Off the buses, a quick run to the bathroom and then the national anthem, but Jason forgot the iPod, so we all had to sing it loud and proud and we did, not well, but we did. A quick prayer for our safety and a good time and we were off. The first checkpoint was a bit over a mile away, so it was a dead run with heavy packs. I am the keeper of the passport so I have to get to the control and punch the passport, the only problem was I had to jump across a ditch of water to get to it, so much for that piece of cake CP. This is where my feet first got wet, and never dried again. So another dead run back down the road past the start to CP2 and into the river, we made a perfect river entrance and headed down river in our canoes.

Although it was in the 40s and 50s most of the day, it was also raining most of the day. This was the perfect race for trying out our rain gear. I found out really quickly that it keeps the rain out, but keeps most of the sweat in. As long as we kept moving, it was fine, but when we stopped I felt like a wet noodle, or at least what I thought a wet noodle felt like.

We paddled for almost 2 hours and even passed about 6 canoes, and we are the worst paddlers around, so that was good for us. The canoe was 11 miles with no checkpoints until the end, so we hit the beach and punched CP3 before getting on our bikes. We rode off while eating sandwiches and started hitting hill after hill and dog after dog. Oh, we didn’t hit the dogs, we rode past them like screaming little girls (Chuck Edit: Only one of us was screaming like a little girl, and it wasn’t me!) trying to get away from them. We got CP after CP, hitting each one right on queue. Then we hit the gas station, all races had a $1.50 credit at the station and we both selected a slice of pizza for our money. It was so good, or at least we thought so, but when you’re that hungry and wet, anything tastes good, so I really can’t vouch for how good it is any other day. As we were getting on our bikes to head out, we noticed on of the racers lighting up a cigarette. We just started laughing, we couldn’t believe it. We headed down a road and seemed to be in the middle of nothing and there is a big building with a tank out front, so we stopped to take a picture, but as soon as we took the picture, the camera died, so we couldn’t take a picture of the gentlemen’s club that was next to the tank. There must have been a lot of testosterone in that neck of the woods.

Again, we picked up CP after CP then hit the woods for some single track, but first a gear check and some Oreo cookies. All the volunteers at the manned checkpoints were so friendly, it was great and at this checkpoint the volunteers happened to be one of my competitors in most races and her husband. Her and I battled it out in a couple races during the 2009 season, her beating me at Burnin at the Bluff and me beating her at the Berryman Duathlon. Funny thing is she cheered us on and made sure we were ok, if it had been me working that checkpoint, I might have flattened her tire. Not really, but I might have thought about it. The single track was muddy and we plowed through, some areas were just too tough to ride, so we had to get off the bikes and push them, but it wasn’t just us, no one around us was able to make it through. At one point we were going down a steep, muddy, rooty trail and my front tire sank into the mud, I was just about to go over the handlebars when I got a foot down on the ground, but to do it I had to slam my pedal into my shin, that hurt for a few hours. We made it out of the woods and I continued to follow Chuck leading us easily to all the CPs. Finally we hit CP 13 which was a mess hall of some type, we dropped our bikes headed into the building to applause by all who were in the room, we got our passport stamped and new clue sheets with 14 new checkpoints to plot. As we found a table, in the door comes team Alpine Shop they are done with the trek and heading towards the finish, they are super fast, but were in second place, they are very gracious and say that team Bushwacker was on their game and they didn’t know if they could catch them, well in the end they didn’t, but we could see how hard they were trying. We sat down and plotted checkpoints, ate some cookies and headed out for about 10 miles of trekking. The trekking section was mostly woods and bush whacking. Not a lot of places we could get a good run going. Lots of giant hills with loose rock, some barbed wire, which I always seem to find, and lots of bushes that seemed to smack me in the face and we can’t forget the mud and lots of it. I chased Chuck most of the way, I have a hard time keeping up in the woods. I hate to say it, but I’m not as strong as Chuck, so I am slower when it comes to sections that take more strength than endurance. We hit CP 14 without a hitch, but on CP 15 we stopped a hill too soon and wasted some time roaming around. We decided to go to the next CP and try to back track, but as soon as we got almost there Chuck realized what happened so we were at the CP we needed. From there we went from CP to CP with another team, of two guys who seemed to be on the same course as us. One of the guys was huge for an adventure racer and he was strong as an ox, his teammate would point the way and he was off, finding one point after the next. We just kept running into them for about 2 hours. Then they disappeared, we finished the trek, and made it back to the road to head for our bikes then we see the two guys we had been with for most of the trek coming out on their bikes, they are about 10 minute ahead of us.

It’s getting dark and we are tired and we know all we have left is to get to the bikes and make it back to the finish line. We also know that we have to be to our bikes by 7 pm or we won’t be allowed to go on. A look at our watches and it is almost 6 pm. We decide we can walk the half mile back, but after about 100 yards we feel guilty and start running. We get back and see that there are still quite a few bikes at the CP, so we are thinking we might be doing pretty well based on the number of bikes still at the CP. We run in the building and in get our passport stamped then hop on our bikes and are off to the finish. We ride hill after hill, we start seeing cars carrying bikes passing by us. We are not sure if this is good or bad, it either means that everyone has finished and are leaving or many people skipped CPs and went directly to the end. We have our headlamps and bike lights turned on, but it is still pretty dark, we turn a corner and see the finish line all lit up in the distance, we pedal in and stop our watches. We are welcomed by an air horn and some cow bells, lots of yelling and congratulations. A very nice lady took our pictures under the finish line and got our email address so she could send them too us. It was a great finish, we got all the checkpoints and finished under 12 hour. 11 hours and 29 minutes to be exact. Race volunteers brought us beer labeled with a Kuat racks label and made by the Springfield brewing company, the same company that sponsors the Berryman Epic mountain bike race. We dropped our bikes and went into a mess hall and ate hot baked potatoes, these are staples at adventure races. I ate so much my belly hurt. We checked the standings and found we were 4th in the 2 person co-ed division and 17th overall. We were very happy with our place and even happier because we were under 12 hours with all the checkpoints. Only 21 teams, just about half found all the checkpoints.

So we had big plans to go eat Mexican after the race then hit Cold Stone for ice cream. Well….. We went back to the hotel, and hit the showers, I just stood there under the hot water for about 20 minutes, then took a Tylenol pm, and called home. I almost fell asleep while talking to my spouse, so I told him I would call on my way home in the morning. Unfortunately, I needed to be home early so Chuck was at my mercy to get up early and get going. To top it off the time changed that night and we lost an hour of sleep. So at 6 am the next morning, which was really 5. I called Chuck’s room and said lets get out of here. We were packed and on the road in 15 minutes. We stopped at the Osage Beach Denny’s where we had race coupons that got us a free breakfast. My eyes were much larger then my stomach and I ordered the grand slam with 4 pancakes, well it goes to say I didn’t eat it all. Chuck devoured his grand slam and laughed at me for not being part of the clean plate club. We headed out the door and back on the road, I drove like a bat out of hell and we made it back to Chuck’s truck in 2. 5 hours. We unloaded his muddy gear said our goodbyes, and great race quotes then were off to our respective homes.

I got home and was beat, but had way too much to do to have any down time, so I put on my Recovery Socks, they felt so good, and helped me get though this busy post-race day. It was all worth it, another great race and more great lessons learned. One day we will be GREAT, it’s just going to take some more practice.